Parenthood: The Most Amazing, Wonderful, Rewarding, Frustrating, Pain-in-the-Ass Job that Sucks.

When my kids were little (let's say birth to school-age), I said that I was going to write a book about motherhood and parenting.  Not another one of the mushy, emotional, I-adore-my-angels-who-never-do-anything-to-upset-me-and-I-handle-every-situation-with-grace-and-patience-and-I-am-a-big-fat-liar kinds of books.  I was going to write about the real deal.  I wanted to tell the truth.  Because it really bothered me that we parents--moms especially--have this thing where we feel like we have to lie and say that we completely love being parents and it's the most magical and amazing role that we cherish every second of every day and never get tired from the sleepless nights or the constant repeating or sassing or messes or peeing with an audience or reading the same story seventeen times a day ... because if we ever even slightly hint at any of those kinds of things, that clearly means that we are horrible people.  Horrible, Terrible, Awful People.

But that's not true.  It's OK to admit that sometimes--maybe even a lot of times--parenting sucks.  Is being a mom / dad rewarding? Yes.  Are there joyful times? Yes.  Are our kids wonderful? Usually.  Do we love our children? Absolutely.  Would we go back in time and change our decision to have kids? No. Maybe. Wait, no. Probably not.  I mean, on the good days, for sure not.  Definitely not--especially when they're sleeping and look so angelic. 

Here's the thing:  We're just human. That means we get annoyed, frustrated, exasperated, mad, and tired.  Sometimes--no matter how many books, articles and blogs we read about parenting and doing all the right things to raise the most perfect freaking kid in the world--we will make mistakes.  We yell.  We lose our cool.  We scold.  We say things we shouldn't.  We don't say all the things we should. 

We are human, just like all the other parents out there.  Even the ones who look like they're doing all the right things all the flip-flopping time.  Newsflash:  they aren't perfect parents.  They're just better at hiding their mistakes or they lie more than you and I do.

We need to forgive ourselves and move on.  Plan to do better next time.  Apologize when we know we are wrong about something and get ready for the next mistake.  You and I both know that our next stellar parenting moment is just around the corner.

Take the good with the bad.  Enjoy the happy times and good moments--when your kids share, tell you they love you, help a friend or sibling, put away their toys without having to be told, flush and wash hands after using the bathroom, cuddle with the pet.  Take those all in and bask in your parenting glory ... it won't be long before there will be sighing, whining, eye rolling, negotiations, tantrums and crying to remind you that parenting is the most amazing, wonderful, rewarding, frustrating, pain-in-the-ass job that sucks. 

And that is going to be the title of my book some day.

PTA

When we moved here about two years ago, I became pretty active in the kids' school. I have been volunteering in their classrooms, teaching Spanish to basically the entire school and have been involved with the PTA. It's been rewarding (for them and me) and I've enjoyed the activities and connections I've made quite a bit. It was really exciting and very flattering to have been selected by the PTA this year to receive the Distinguished Service Award for our school at the district-wide Founders' Day dinner. And it was also flattering to have so many people (on the current board for PTA, teachers and other members) nominate me for the office of President for the next two years.

Being on the board of the PTA is definitely something I would enjoy. Leading and working with other people are strong suits for me. And, honestly, it's hard to come up with a more worthwhile way to spend my time than working to provide good opportunities and solid support for my children's education. Having said that, I also would like to land myself a paying job and I'm a bit nervous that I may be spreading myself too thin if I could find said employment. There's also the little bit that I just don't know how long we'll be here ... Tim could be promoted and transferred any ol' time and I'd feel bad to leave that office vacant.

So, when I was formally asked if I would accept the nomination for President, I kindly declined explaining that I would definitely stay involved, just not as President because I didn't want to get myself in a proverbial pickle if I were able to land solid employment or end up moving. The nominations committee and current board said they understood but occasionally asked if I would reconsider, noting that being President doesn't mean that I would be doing everything on my own. They reiterated that the entire board works to organize, lead and delegate responsibilities to various members of PTA. I said I'd keep thinking about it.

As the election neared, no one else had stepped up for the President's position. Several other women were interested in other positions on the board, but felt that with young children still at home, they would rather not undertake the larger role. Knowing that the other people who were likely to be elected onto the board are reliable and involved, I decided to go ahead with the office for President and last week it was made official.

I'm really happy with the board we'll have in place for the next two years and look forward to continuing the excellent programs that are so beneficial for my kids and all the students at their elementary school. As for the job and / or moving, I decided that I don't want to put good things on hold while I'm waiting to see what happens ... I have never been and don't want to be someone who will regret not having done something because the journey is uncertain. I prefer to forge the path and take each day as it comes. And, so I will.