A.D.D.

Two weeks ago, Tim and I had our informative meeting with Doug the pediatric psychologist to hear what he found in his testing with Austin. It came as a complete non-shock to hear that Austin indeed has Attention Deficit (with a touch of Hyper) Disorder ... which is actually a very misleading name. It's not that he has a deficit in or inability to pay attention, it's that he can't filter out what, of all the 20-ish things that are vying for it, should be getting his attention. And this isn't just the case with Austin, that's what A.D.D. is ... along with the fun and always interesting impulse control issues.

My Aunt Suzy has a perfect explanation for the impulse control scenario--most people make decisions about what to say and do by following an A B C plan. A: we think of something we want to say or do, B: we consider the ramifications of making said choice and determine whether or not it would be beneficial to do or say so, and then C: we do or say whatever it was that we were thinking (provided that step B indicated it would be prudent). People with A.D.D. (Austin) skip step B--if they think it, they do / say it. It's not that they don't feel like going through the A B C process, it's that their brain isn't equipped to do it very well. Their internal voice only tells them A C. But, if they have an external voice (i.e. their mother, father, teacher) to remind them to include B, they can do it.

Other things that Doug found: Austin is delightful, smart and funny ... genuinely a good kid. (Tim and I already knew that! :D) He said that he really enjoyed his time with Austin. I'm sure he sees some really challenging kids--like the 14-ish year old we saw in the waiting area who tried to bolt out the door the second it was time to go to his appointment ... his dad had to grab and practically restrain him. So, comparatively, I imagine Austin was really a little ray of sunshine for Doug.

And, I have to say that it was really nice to hear from someone who was spending time with my son that he's enjoyable. After an entire school year of hearing his teacher sigh and complain and only see him as a problem, it made me happy to hear that Doug could see Austin as Tim and I do--a bright, humorous, loving and fun kid.

During our appointment, we got the whole explanation about medication, what it does, how it helps, possible side effects, etc. Doug thinks that Austin is a "perfect candidate" to be helped by it.

After lots of discussion and questions and thinking and sorting through issues and weighing pros and cons, we're going to try it. We're still struggling with it a little. A few of our concerns about having Austin take medication are that he might not develop coping mechanisms or survival strategies to deal with this, and if that's the case, will he end up needing to take some medication the rest of his life? Will he have side effects (stomach aches, head aches, sleeping problems, loss of appetite)?

But our bigger concerns deal with what will happen if we don't try the medication. He's already having problems socially--it's understandably frustrating for other kids to play with Austin sometimes and what 7-8 year old is going to have the patience and / or interest in working with him through his impulsiveness, loudness and "in-your-face-ness". He does things that are annoying to other people. It's the lack of ability to use the B part of the decision-making process. Medication will be able to help that. And that means a lot to us, for Austin. We're also concerned that he'll start falling behind in school. As the curriculum gets tougher--and more independent work is expected--we're afraid that he'll struggle. (He can't stay focused long enough to write a short thank you note without me getting him back on track, how will he be able to sustain attention to get work done in school??)

We have our appointment with the pediatrician (to actually get the prescription) on Friday. We'll start the medication shortly after that. I'll be sure to post about how that all goes! Wish us luck!

Simba

One of the last times I posted, I was feeling like I didn't have much to write about. This time, I have a lot to share and have been wanting to get to this for over a week.

Some sad news. We had to put our Simba to sleep last week. He and his sister, Jasmine have been with us for almost 11 years (July 26th is their 11th birthday). In a nutshell, Simba was a big baby of a cat ... a big, sassy, snuggly, needy, sweet cat who was easily stressed by change. (All of our moves have been challenging for him.) He weighed in at 18 pounds--truly a big cat. He was always sure to let us know what he wanted and/or needed ... and you'd be surprised by the foul mouth he had. Simba swore at me daily ("dammit, woman, I said I'm thirsty!" and "what the hell don't you understand when I say 'PET ME'?!") and would not give up if he was in the mood to be petted. I can't count the number of times he would "bull head" into my leg or hand--or head, if I was sleeping. He made Maya's day many times by laying across her lap--it was a win-win situation. She desperately wanted to hold, pet and brush a cat, and he just loved all the affection and attention.

A vet once told me that Simba had tendencies and symptoms that indicated he was diabetic. He also told me that if/when Simba got sick, it would be fast. The last month we had him, he was peeing and pooping all over the house. The last 2-3 weeks, it was everyday. He seemed less and less himself. He hadn't bitched at me to get him water for about 2 weeks. He was shying away from being petted. He seemed skittish and nervous when anyone walked in the room--even Tim and me. His arthritis made him uncomfortable--shifting often and moving slowly. He didn't eat anything in his last 2 days.

When I took him to the vet for his final time, he was uncharacteristically calm. He came out of his carrier as soon as I opened the door and sweetly nudged me. He instantly started to purr and just sat next to me for a minute. Then, he got down and walked around the room. He had never done that before. I always ended up having to pull him out of his carrier and then he'd want to hide behind me or in a corner. He would cry throughout the entire visit, practically begging me to take him home. He would shed like a maniac and his dander seemed to sprout more every second. He had always been a nervous wreck at the vet's office. But not that last day. It was almost like he was glad for it, or he was trying to make me feel better.

I cried for an hour before I took him to the vet, the entire drive there and all during the visit. I sobbed while I petted him afterwards and kissed his head. I still cry when I think about it, but I'm also glad that he's better now.

I imagine that he's in his own little cat heaven--a field with moths and bugs flitting about ... and he's chasing them with all he's got. For as big as he was, he was always such a kitten.

Rest in peace, Simby kitty.

DUI

Just a little note ... last night I was over hanging out with the neighbors on their deck when Deb mentioned that her friend Mary got a DUI on July 4th. Mary is one of the people who was at Deb's graduation party that was insisting that she was safe to drive--after 4 beers ... and her attempt to convince me that she was sober / legal was "and you gotta know, that's not a lot for me."

We're just going to add this little tidbit to the sometimes-you-get-confirmation-that-you've-done-the-right-thing column. I never doubted myself or my decision, but talk about vindication!!

I think I have a case of the blahs. For as busy as I've been, I don't feel like I have much interesting to share. But I do ... when I really think about it.

Austin turned 8 this past week. He seems so much taller to me lately. I look at him and see the young man he'll be some day ... and I can hardly find that little baby boy he once was. On his birthday, he and Maya were amused by me giving them updates on where I was in labor / delivery at different points in the day--but 8 years earlier. (Maya might be less amused by me updating her about how things were going with her labor / delivery as I was in labor through the entire night ... she might just prefer the good night's sleep! :D)
Austin cracked me up on the trampoline tonight. He was sitting on it while I was bouncing him--something we call "making popcorn." I gave him 3 or 4 good, high bounces in a row and he said through all his laughing "stop! stop! oh! shiver me timbers!! those were good ones!" Shiver me timbers ... what a hoot!

We went to Toledo's fireworks on the 4th. Interesting bunch of people who turned out for it. I'm not exactly even sure how to sum it up. There were times that I felt like my family was out of place being there in clean clothes ... if you get my drift.
We ended up laying on top of a little hill with the fireworks bursting right over us. It was a wonderful display set to patriotic music broadcast by a local radio station. It was nice thinking about all of us who were out there from very different backgrounds, with certainly different political views and opinions--and we were all brought together to celebrate this country that we live in.

My dad and Monica came up from North Carolina for Austin's birthday party this past weekend. We had a nice visit and had lots of fun at the party. I always enjoy having my house full of family and friends. My brother and sister (Matt and Jenny) were the only family not able to come. Otherwise, we had a really nice turnout ... and Austin made out like a bandit!! As Maya said, "he got everything he had on his wish list." (I was really excited that he had several books on his list--and in the 2 days that he's had them, he's already read 5 of the 8 books he received ... and they're chapter books, not just picture books!! Yeah!!!)

Monica and I put together a little cabinet for the bathroom while we were drinking margaritas Sunday afternoon. It looks great ... and went together quite nicely. Our little mantra of the afternoon was "we don't need no men folk--except for Tim to keep making us margaritas!" We sure do have fun together!! :)